Sometimes I just want to be Mommy . . .

Lately I’ve been having a lot of second thoughts about the path my life has taken.  No second thoughts about my spouse or my kids, but rather the path my career life has taken.

Now that my youngest is three, and very much mommy’s girl, I’m wondering if I chose the right path to have a career.  I know we are lucky in that my spouse stays home with the kids–they have a parent at home with them, my youngest has never spent a minute in daycare, and yet, a lot of the time lately, I wish it was me that was staying home with them.  I know that I probably couldn’t do everything that my husband does-he is a good cook, god at laundry, etc., but I could learn, right?

I feel out of place.  When the neighborhood all got together a couple of weeks ago for an impromptu bbq–I felt like I was the odd man out.  All the moms stay home–at least most of the time (one is a teacher, but is home when the kids are home).  All the dads work.  So, I can’t interact with the moms because we don’t understand each other, and I definitely do not fit in with the dads.  So, what do I do?  I hang with the kids and the dogs.  My husband on the other hand–can talk “shop” with the moms and be a “man” with the dads.  It doesn’t seem fair!

Then I have the whole guilt trip given freely by my youngest.  But mommy, just tell your boss that it is Sunday.  Um, honey, can’t do that because I am my boss.

I just wonder sometimes.